A letter to all non-essential workers...
This is the last type of blog I ever thought I’d write but here we are.
It sucks to be labeled as non-essential doesn’t it? As much as I agree with the measures taken to protect our society from COVID-19, I can’t help but feel the anxiousness of what’s to come for all non-essential industries.
Try as I might, I have yet to find one piece of mandated closure information that even lists facialists or spas as part of non-essential businesses that have to close during this type. The beauty industry is left out of the conversation forcing business owners everywhere to make an incredibly difficult choice by themselves. That choice is to label themselves as “non-essential”. I hate even thinking about it because we KNOW in our hearts that we are essential to our clients, and even with all of our training for upholding medical-grade level sanitation, the risk of our exchange is still too high. We know it’s the right thing to do, as painful as it is to not be of service the way we are best during this terrifying time.
Taking accountability
Maybe it's because I am 30, maybe it's the start of a new year, or maybe it's an unknown universal shift but I have recently felt empowered to own up to a lot of my mistakes and start taking some accountability. I am the type of person who can admit when I'm wrong but often time it comes after a fit of defensiveness and a little bit of self-victimizing. Lately, I have recalled a couple of instances in which I needed to take accountability and didn't have the emotional intelligence to do so. It's difficult to look back and think "I should have done this better" but having grown up in this field I have to give myself a little credit for doing my best and learning along the way. As much as I can't help but cringe at some of my reactions in the past, I want to share a few of them with you. Hopefully, this can help shed some light on where we can oftentimes fall short as people, but recognize that there is always room to grow and get better.
2018; the year of finally loving the skin you're in
I honestly can’t believe we are in our last week of 2017. I know that when 2017 started I was sitting high with expectations but was also riddled with anxiety with what was to come. The shifts that have occurred were not always what I expected. Some have been what I have feared, but others have truly changed me for the better. Now I feel grounded in what I anticipate may be the first ever year I finally feel comfortable in my skin. It’s easy to look like you have it all together but when certain things finally do click in your life it can shift your entire perspective. I try my very best to educate all of my clients that when they finally surrender to let this shift happen they actually start to love the reflection in the mirror. So today I want to talk about why 2018 is the year of finally loving the skin you’re in…
Timelines for your skin
One question I am constantly faced with regarding skin concerns is a timeline on when things will be better. I hate to break it to y’all but putting a timeline on your health is like telling God your plans - it doesn’t work out that way. There are a few things you can do to help create a plan for yourself but when dealing with a live organ that reflects the imbalances of your internal organs, there is only so much you can control. I want to run through a few steps to help you stay on track when things seem to be going nowhere or even feels like you’re taking a few steps backward.
Understanding your value and worth.
One of the hardest parts of owning a business for me is the financial side of it. As you may all know by now I’m not a business major who has had a set plan from the start of my business. I was literally left with no other option but to start my own business after leaving my last spa job when I had shingles. Everyone has an opinion when it comes to how much my services are worth but at the end of the day it came down to how much I value myself. Starting this at 27 out of fear of going broke there were many times when I undervalued myself just to get people in the door. What never dawned on me was that when I worked in other offices I was doing $300 services and my clientele never blinked on the cost. So why was it hard for me to recognize that I’m worth the industry standard (and much more).
Perception.
It’s officially August 1st so this means it is the last official month of my 20s. A lot usually comes up for me right before my birthday because I physically feel a chapter writing itself to a close. I become very reflective about where my life is going as well as what I’ve learned from the previous 11 months. I can safely say that my 20s have been a decade of epic growth that I can wax poetic on it all day. Over the last week I have been incredibly fortunate that the universe has graciously presented me with multiple gifts of self care which has helped me tune into my reflective period. Honing into that voice in my head that is screaming at me to finally shed some of the barriers I’ve held up for as long as I remember. The one that screams itself the loudest is simply to be my most authentic self. So as I continue to write I want to dive a little deeper into the themes that has led me to where I am now, living an authentic life of my choosing with the world as my oyster.
Why I love the dentist
I am one of those people who actually likes going to the dentist. My mom worked at a dentist from when I was 10 to 28 so I basically grew up around the office. It was also my first job assisting around the office so I understood the culture of preventative care which is why I’ve never had a cavity or any oral care issues. When I moved to LA back in 2012 I didn’t have health insurance and could not find a dentist for the life of me. All of a sudden a few years had gone by and I started to notice some plaque on my teeth. I knew that proper oral hygiene is the key to overall good health but months became years and all of a sudden I blinked and found myself 6 years without my teeth getting cleaned professionally. Trust me, I barely admitted it to my mother or myself because I felt so shamed about it. I was relying on my genetically good teeth and ability to always brush my teeth and floss but I knew it wasn’t enough. That is when the incredible Dr. Karla Solis came into my life. I was introduced to her over a year ago and she has brought me back to a place of faith in my oral care because not only does sitting in a dentist chair feel oddly nostalgic and comforting to me but also she’s an incredible holistic dentist. I saw her yesterday and we got to talking about some similarities in our fields and that’s what I want to talk about today.
Why makeup is a luxury, not a necessity.
If you’ve ever had a treatment with me you know that in my consultation form my very last question is what is your ultimate skin goal? I wrote a post about year ago about becoming makeup free and since then the most common answer to my skin goal question still remains the same - to be makeup free. I may have done a few of you a disservice by immediately exclaiming how easy that goal is because of my personal relationship with makeup. I grew up obsessed with makeup to the point that if I could translate the equivalent of my obsession to the current time, I would 100% be one of those instagram/snapchat/youtube tutorial gals. I loved creating looks, doing other people’s makeup and I was praised for my natural ability in this department. I booked jobs all the time in the beginning of my career that I can safely say that the spring and summers of 2007 and 2008 were spent with me at my makeup counter dolling gals up for events like prom, graduation and weddings. I loved it but it also taught me a lot about how many people lacked confidence, self awareness and even struggled with a little body/facial dysmorphia. My love of makeup started because of artistry but my relationship to it on an everyday basis changed because of my own evolution of self love and acceptance. So with that, I want to dive back into how being makeup free has nothing to do with skincare, it has everything to do with acceptance.
Girl Boss all day, everyday
Over the weekend I was gifted a day off by the universe as I was attempting to squeeze too much in and once again my body said; “slow down and take care of me”. Why I have to learn this continuously is something I am working on, I promise. However, I cancelled my day and my bed was my new office and rest was my new assignment. I gave in and pulled up one of my favorite recipes for rest - Netflix. I’m really impressed with Netflix nowadays for being able to constantly rotate content as well as have new shows and movies. I mean we’ve all fallen in love with “The OA” and “Stranger Things” so the bar is set high, so when I hear the reviews of “girl boss” I was a bit bummed because I wanted it to be great. I love the Nasty Gal story and so I figured I would give it a shot since I was sequestered to my bed anyway. With 30 minute episodes, it was easy to move through the series quickly (and shamelessly) and once I was done I felt I related to the story so much. A few days before I started watching the series I felt a little down on myself for having dedicated almost 11 years to a career and to only feel like I am just starting to grow. I might be a late bloomer, or a slow bloomer, but I was starting to fall down the spiral of comparing myself to others and wondering why I wasn’t able to achieve certain goals yet. My dream vacation is still awaiting me, hello! So as I’m trying to manifest my Therapeutic Skin Coach empire I realized that the story of Sophia Amoruso really spoke to my young entrepreneurial journey. For one, we both started in 2006 and secondly we were both so young (I - 18 and she - 23). So instead of allowing myself to be swallowed by the pit of comparison and jealously what I took from the series was a few basic lessons and reminders. Here is what I learned:
What constitutes an expert?
Over the last few years I have seen an incredible growth in the wellness community. We have evolved our hippie, woowoo reputation to a reliable source of transparency and natural health care. Since I’ve been in the game for over a decade, and that may just be long enough to recognize patterns, I’ve realized the most extreme pattern is how sick people are getting. With the amount of knowledge I’ve acquired over the years, I feel as though I constantly have to research and ask questions. I’m lucky to have a great group of wellness practitioners that I collaborate with so we can create a whole health wellness plan for just about any case. If a case gets a little tricky for me to solve on my own I have many estheticians who I can reach out to for advice. The collaborative effort creates a safe space to explore endless possibilities and potentially help catch something I would have normally missed in an assessment. So if it takes a village and a decade of experience among the leaders of this community for me to find success, than how come everyone is all of a sudden an expert?
Why your skin is getting the best of you and how to regain your power.
I’m piggy backing off of last weeks post to dive into depth on one of my main points. I mentioned last week how you don’t want to be quick to blame your skincare and I received such great feedback. It’s hard for me to talk about accountability because I’m human too and need just as many supportive humans to help guide me through this life. Just because I’m a service provider it doesn’t mean I have all the answers. How annoying would I be if I was the smartest person in the room at 29? I would literally roll my eyes to myself. There’s no way to know everything! I’m learning along the way just like you are and so unfortunately if you don’t do your own work I can’t help you. Which bums me out too! I am a virgo that likes to have 100% on my record when it comes to client retention and only after starting my own business did I realize that is not a goal anyone in my profession should want or have. Reason number 1 loops into the idea that I just mentioned that I don’t know everything to heal everyone and reason number 2 being I need to choose who I work on just as much as you choose me as your esthetician. It’s an energy exchange like no other. I meet you and within 20 minutes strip your face to it’s purest state that is a portal to your inner health. Not many people want to admit that they sneak snacks at midnight or they drank a whole bottle of wine by themselves.
Most of us have grown up feeling shamed for certain habits and so we collect them as dirty little secrets. The more dirty little secrets you have the more you start to believe your own denial about yourself. Part of me feels like being the face of health and eco conscious living I have to hide the fact that I bought a paper bag from Trader Joe's earlier and that I ate donuts over the weekend (they were baked and somewhat healthier but still). I’m tired of having these dirty little secrets. Especially since they are miniscule compared to the amount of good I create and healthy habits I stick with. I NEVER shame myself over my skin anymore. I’ve been walking around with a nose full of blackheads since I was 10 and honestly, they are part of who I am. If one day I didn’t have them, I would feel really strange and pretty annoyed with how ordinary I would seem. I’m not ordinary. I’m extraordinary which to me is being weird, messy, and somewhat neurotic at times.
That’s my depth, we all have it whether we have discovered it yet or not. So now that I’ve gone on my own, incredibly long tangent, my goal with this post is to help you navigate why you’re jumping around from your skin health habits and how to finally let go of the shame that comes with it.
Last week, it hit me...
Have you seen La La land yet? Well I've seen it about 4 times now and within the first scene I'm bawling. Mostly because I'm a sucker for musicals but secondly because even though I'm not an actor, I identify with the message of the film so much. In the opening scene there is this song and dance sequence to the song "Another day of sun" that any Los Angeleno will tell you feels very relatable. This city can eat you up and spit you out but then we wake up and do it all over again the next day.
Last week, it hit me...
I was reminded that our first Skin Food Talk was a year ago and I was hit with a wave of emotions. It's not just because of the success of this past year, it's because I had a lot of memories resurface and I realized that this last year taught me how to better cope with the challenges of this life.
Staying true to yourself
So I got married over the weekend...
I got engaged in an "unconventional" way and I got married in an "unconventional" way. But who is it really unconventional to? Because I stuck with what felt like the most organic way I could imagine such an important day. Yet I was still met with many questions from the get go about the "whys" of my choices. Everyone becomes an advice giver when it comes to another person's life event, and don't get me wrong, I listen. See here's the thing; I've been doing treatments for a long time and overtime I listened to the thousands of brides, bridesmaids, grooms, and in laws speak of the weddings happening in their lives and I came up with a few of my "when I get married rules". They definitely apply to many other life events as well as the day to day. Here are some tips as to how to stay true no matter what:
What to do: Your skincare rules for exercise!
One of the most common issues I have with my clients is their confusion with exercise and skincare. The statement that makes me cringe the most when I get done with a facial is “I’m going to go workout after this”. It feels wrong to tell someone no because I truly encourage everyone to live their healthiest life. There are a few reasons why exercise and skincare often don’t get along. Our initial instincts with it are sort of off. This isn’t anyone’s fault, there is just no clear information out there. Here are a few ways to avoid some skincare sins while implementing exercise in your daily routine.