I’m piggy backing off of last weeks post to dive into depth on one of my main points. I mentioned last week how you don’t want to be quick to blame your skincare and I received such great feedback. It’s hard for me to talk about accountability because I’m human too and need just as many supportive humans to help guide me through this life. Just because I’m a service provider it doesn’t mean I have all the answers. How annoying would I be if I was the smartest person in the room at 29? I would literally roll my eyes to myself. There’s no way to know everything! I’m learning along the way just like you are and so unfortunately if you don’t do your own work I can’t help you. Which bums me out too! I am a virgo that likes to have 100% on my record when it comes to client retention and only after starting my own business did I realize that is not a goal anyone in my profession should want or have. Reason number 1 loops into the idea that I just mentioned that I don’t know everything to heal everyone and reason number 2 being I need to choose who I work on just as much as you choose me as your esthetician. It’s an energy exchange like no other. I meet you and within 20 minutes strip your face to it’s purest state that is a portal to your inner health. Not many people want to admit that they sneak snacks at midnight or they drank a whole bottle of wine by themselves.
Most of us have grown up feeling shamed for certain habits and so we collect them as dirty little secrets. The more dirty little secrets you have the more you start to believe your own denial about yourself. Part of me feels like being the face of health and eco conscious living I have to hide the fact that I bought a paper bag from Trader Joe's earlier and that I ate donuts over the weekend (they were baked and somewhat healthier but still). I’m tired of having these dirty little secrets. Especially since they are miniscule compared to the amount of good I create and healthy habits I stick with. I NEVER shame myself over my skin anymore. I’ve been walking around with a nose full of blackheads since I was 10 and honestly, they are part of who I am. If one day I didn’t have them, I would feel really strange and pretty annoyed with how ordinary I would seem. I’m not ordinary. I’m extraordinary which to me is being weird, messy, and somewhat neurotic at times.
That’s my depth, we all have it whether we have discovered it yet or not. So now that I’ve gone on my own, incredibly long tangent, my goal with this post is to help you navigate why you’re jumping around from your skin health habits and how to finally let go of the shame that comes with it.
1 - Are you letting a small sidetrack get the best of you?
You have more power than that. When I sprained my ankle in January I discovered a lot about myself when it happened. I learned that I don’t let people take care of me easily and I also fall prey to FOMO often. So I shed a few layers of discomfort along the way and once I got home to finally heal and attempt to stay in my awakened state of acceptance, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to work out for weeks. As a former dancer I get in my head a lot about exercise. If my body isn’t doing what I want it to be doing and I feel even somewhat out of shape, I breakdown. The universe paired me with the right partner to journey this life with as my husband is the epitome of consciously choosing self care practices. When James helps me with my recovery he’s very loving but in a way that holds me accountable. It’s okay if I cry about it but I have to do something about it. So after a month of no exercise, I realized my eating habits slipped and my decision to reach for a half bottle of wine a night was becoming habit instead. I let a small and completely reasonable sidetrack throw me off completely from my previous health commitments. So after deciding enough was enough and realizing I physically can’t metabolize alcohol and other triggers such as gluten without physical and emotional consequence, I started going to the gym. If you are having an imbalance with your skin that side tracks all the work you’ve put into it, that’s not the universe telling you to give up. That’s the universe telling you to show up. This is where my second point comes in…
2 - Are you too worried about what other people are thinking?
So here I am at Equinox in Hollywood and all I want to do is run away. Why? Because I’m walking on a treadmill and feel like everyone is judging me for my low pace workout. I completely forget my massive ankle injury and start running on the treadmill. As you can imagine this was not the best idea. I had to limp myself out of the gym and face the fact that I had to start smaller than I wanted too. Here’s the thing, no one is looking at me. No one cares that I’m walking on a treadmill. No one is even seeing me other than just superficially being there. Every person is often too concerned about what’s happening in their own orbit that they are not concerned as to why I’m not working out as hard as them. And if they are, that’s on them. Not me, I don’t have to explain anything to anyone. So if you are breaking out and are scared that everyone is looking, they aren’t. Chances are they are not even noticing your skin. Only estheticians and highly insecure people will study you and pick you apart. At least estheticians are diagnosing solutions for you in their heads and most likely thinking of a way to ask how they can help without shaming you. Pick your head up and run your errands, go to work, school or social gathering and know that no one cares about the zit you got half way through the week. If you let yourself be consumed by it you are only drawing more energy to HAVING an imbalance as opposed to drawing energy to HEALING an imbalance. Stop worrying and start acting like something so minor is exactly what it is, minor. You are bigger than an imbalance in your skin and you deserve to catch attention for your confidence anyways.
3 - Ride the wave and commit to love.
I can’t promise that something won’t bench me from being 100% committed to my healthy habits but I can promise myself that I will ride the wave and commit to treating myself with the ultimate self love and care. It takes so much energy to focus on the negatives of ourselves when we would never treat others with such disrespect. When you shift your attention to the positives, they start to multiply. When I look at my skin, I don’t see the blackheads, fine lines or dark circles. I see signals that my body is dehydrated, having sluggish digestion and adrenal fatigue. And for that I am so grateful! I’m so proud that my body is working so hard to tell me exactly what’s going on. It’s harder to want to commit to myself fully but I know that if I just commit to being loving, the rest will come. If you are not nice to yourself about where you are in your body, life or whatever else, then you are not riding the waves of your beautiful journey. You are perfect exactly as is and your journey is set up this way for you to learn. The problems will continuously show up if you aren’t ready to learn the lessons yet. So if you are having the same skin issues for years, what are you really avoiding? It’s not a cleanser that’s going to solve the problem unfortunately. It’s not even me. You have to dive a little deeper into your self care and love practices here. The answer will only show up when you do that.
This post may go over your head and maybe a year ago it would have went over mine. The truth is simply that the recurring theme of switching skincare, skin therapists or simply dwelling in the insecurities of your life won’t change anything. We have to dive a little deeper to make a difference.
Thank you for reading, xo - Hayley