IT'S OFFICIAL! Facials are coming to Dallas in April
I waited a really long time to decide whether or not I was going to give facials again.
After my first relocation of the pandemic in June 2020, it was clear that starting a new business with new people in a new environment was the recipe for my body’s official breakdown. I needed to step back and really dive deep into recovery after my endometriosis surgery as well as try to unlearn a lot of habits I had acquired as a business owner, esthetician, and plain old human being. So that’s what I did this last year.
California Love! Esthetician referrals 💌
Moving to Oregon during a pandemic was, as you can imagine, a very stressful endeavor. I’m grateful to finally be able to start settling into my space and home, but I am well aware that there are plenty of things I left unfinished in California. So here’s my update for all of you wondering what’s next for TSC in Cali.
it's time I come clean...an update on all things TSC
I’m just going to pull the bandaid off and say it; this sucks.
Okay, I’ve been saying that a ton since this started but I feel like each week has added up another piece of bad news that I’m teetering between realism and pessimism only these days. The optimism makes an appearance as needed to keep me going, but all in all - this sucks. Let me have a pity party and tell you why.
To all the estheticians I was before...
2019 marks the 13th year of my career as an esthetician. I don’t know how it happened but somehow my entire adulthood has been dedicated to serving people with some fresh skin. I don’t have any possible way to break down the number of people that I’ve seen but upwards of 20,000 people is my estimate based on some fast math. Many of these clients I saw once, many I kept as forever clients, and then there’s every circumstance in between in which I managed to get to know, help, and connect with someone even for just a short time together. I think about each day I’ve been able to have doing this job since my days back in beauty school. The consistency of it is that I wake up and know that at some point in the day, I get to expand my knowledge by learning something new about someone new and keeping in my heart that my responsibility is to just make them feel worthy and comfortable with exactly who they are. I discovered early on that there are little and big ways to accomplish this and my success rate is only equal to how worthy and comfortable I feel with myself as well. There are versions of the esthetician that I am now that I’ve always had in me but with a little time, and a lot of experience, all the estheticians I was before are the layers of who I get to be today.
My week in review...
I feel like I’ve had a total reset over the last week. Over the last decade-plus, I have faced a lot of the same issues that I feel like I was able to overcome three major ones last week alone. First, there is such a lack of support and resources out in the esthetician world, especially for those of us who are seeking to break the mold and provide more integrated care. All of the new education that I’ve been getting certified in has just reignited my creativity and confidence in supporting my client’s health journeys. Second, I’ve gained my confidence again for events and public speaking. And lastly, I put myself first when my health took an unexpected plunge. Here’s my week in review.
What I've had done...
Yes, I mean exactly what it sounds like. Today I want to talk about what I've had "done" as an esthetician as well as what I haven't and why. People ask me this all the time because they want to know if I have a big secret to my skin's success. I've been taking care of my skin for a long time and given the perks of being in the industry I've been able to try a lot of things. There are things I also haven't tried but performed on others. It's sort of a mixed bag but I'm very excited to share this once and for all.
Becoming attached: Why the rules of dating often apply to my work
When it comes to my relationships with clients it feels like I often have to play by the rules of dating. Over the last decade I feel like I have experienced a non stop rotation of new, existing and returning clients. Every day I get several inquiries about how someone found me and I’m the answer to their skin prayers. I mindfully reply back and then - nothing. Since I have been with my husband for almost 6 years I missed the era of online dating, so I find that I still play a very old school part in courting someone. When a client ghosts me I get confused and think “didn’t you reach out to me?”. I also get broken up with by clients. I find that as strong as my return rate is there are many reasons why some people don’t come back. As an empathetic healer there are a lot of lessons I have to continuously learn again and again because I become heavily invested in each case. Whether a client ghosts me or gives me a very thoughtful reason why they can no longer see me, it still somehow manages to sting. There are many reasons why I think that a service providers clientele continues to evolve. I want to explore what may be holding back from taking the leap you need to trusting the process to finally achieving the skin of your dreams.
Reading between the lines...
Just the other day I got to catch up with an old friend that I worked with at my first job as an esthetician. We were on the phone for over 2 hours catching up on the years that had passed by. While reminiscing she reminded me that as early as 19 years old I approached my skin care practice the same as I do now - with an integrative approach. It sort of hit me that I have always just looked at skin care a certain way that may not have been the norm back then but is slowly starting to become mainstream. I have been asking about diet and hormone health since day one because I recognized early on that skin is a reflection of our health and we didn’t have to suffer with the imbalances without finding the root cause first. When I meet someone for their first appointment with me I send over a 12 question health history consultation that scratches the surface on your internal health. I need that background to shed some light on what I can do to your skin as well as an understanding of where you are physically and emotionally. I want to break down why I ask certain questions to help you gain a better understanding of how it’s all connected and why I have to read between the lines...
Why I love the dentist
I am one of those people who actually likes going to the dentist. My mom worked at a dentist from when I was 10 to 28 so I basically grew up around the office. It was also my first job assisting around the office so I understood the culture of preventative care which is why I’ve never had a cavity or any oral care issues. When I moved to LA back in 2012 I didn’t have health insurance and could not find a dentist for the life of me. All of a sudden a few years had gone by and I started to notice some plaque on my teeth. I knew that proper oral hygiene is the key to overall good health but months became years and all of a sudden I blinked and found myself 6 years without my teeth getting cleaned professionally. Trust me, I barely admitted it to my mother or myself because I felt so shamed about it. I was relying on my genetically good teeth and ability to always brush my teeth and floss but I knew it wasn’t enough. That is when the incredible Dr. Karla Solis came into my life. I was introduced to her over a year ago and she has brought me back to a place of faith in my oral care because not only does sitting in a dentist chair feel oddly nostalgic and comforting to me but also she’s an incredible holistic dentist. I saw her yesterday and we got to talking about some similarities in our fields and that’s what I want to talk about today.
Healthy Skin vs. Perfect Skin
As a person who heavily identifies with the struggles of being a perfectionist I do notice that I tend to have a physical response to the word itself - "Perfect". When someone tells me they want “perfect” skin, it really hurts my heart because it creates an emotional block that we have to investigate. I have tried to overlook the term as it has followed me around my whole life, but it’s gotten to the point now where I am doing you a disservice if I don’t correct this terminology. Healthy skin does not equal perfect skin. I’m going to repeat that: HEALTHY SKIN DOES NOT EQUAL PERFECT SKIN. Health is an ongoing journey to bettering yourself for the sake of feeling good while having love, acceptance and appreciation for yourself. Perfection is not attainable and generally comes from a place of low self worth, self loathing or simple delusion that you have to fit a mold. As someone who has struggled with anxiety their entire life, it’s easy for me to fall into my perfectionist trap and unknowingly use the term with intent on delivering a positive message. So today I want to breakdown the differences of why healthy skin doesn’t equal perfect skin and advice on how to shift your mindset towards acceptance in being your true self.
My social media anxieties
I go through the typical love/hate stages with social media often. Most of the time I can get past the obvious social media sensitivities like “how come this person is always on vacation?” or “this person posts so much better content than me.” but sometimes I get triggered and it’s taken me a little perspective and self care to uncover what those fears were really stemming from. First, I am a firm believer that we are all in it to win it so my comparison attitude is based from a deep rooted crippling perfectionism that I have only started shedding over the last 2 years - obviously something I need to work on a little more. I do feel like we all can be successful and it takes for me to see how someone else is successful to remind me that I can do it too. Trust me there are times that I have woken up from dreams that all of a sudden the new trend is to not treat your skin and I would be completely out of work. But after 11 years I still manage to get more questions, new clients and seem to be increasing in my success with each year. So why does an instagram sometimes make me want to give up? Or at least crawl under a pillow for a few hours.
Sun Care SOS part 2
To follow up from last week’s post I wanted to discuss the most positive thing I noticed over Memorial Day weekend. Over the years I have heavily influenced my husband’s relationship with sunscreen. This is a man who grew up in Texas and can tolerate sun and heat unlike many other auburn haired, Irish descendants. Reason being is that his skin has been trained to tolerate heat because of where he grew up as well as having other heritage factors that make him more tolerant of heavy heat levels. So regardless of all these factors, James has unfortunately experienced some gnarly burns over the years and after enough wife nagging, he has shifted many of his old habits. During our camping trip he was the first person to apply sunscreen prior to heavy sun exposure and to reapply throughout the course of our time in the sun. He turned to me at one point and said “I think I just have to apply every 30 minutes in order to not burn”. I almost cried tears of joy in that very moment. YES! HE GETS IT! This type of attitude can infectiously spreads because once you see someone caring for their skin it triggers the thought that maybe you should do the same. As soon as the sunscreen was out, others would start asking for a round of cover up. When I talk about sun care, I don’t necessarily only mean sunscreen. Sun care to me means how you are caring for your skin from the sun. Sunscreen is a huge and non-negotiable factor but I am talking about extra preventative steps such as the following:
Sun care SOS Part 1
I went camping for a few days over Memorial Day weekend and as fun as it was it also honestly felt like a case study in sun care. Don’t worry, this isn’t a post to chastise anyone on their sunscreen use, it’s more of an observational piece about the different educations people have about sun care in general. When it comes to sun care, regardless of where you are from, your skin color and whatever else comes to mind as an excuse to avoid daily care - you need sun protection. So before you tell yourself your melanin activity is enough to avoid reading this think again. I’m going to break this down into two parts. Part 1 will be about the common misconceptions, old myths and what’s commonly neglected. So let’s begin:
I'm so not a salesperson...
My husband and I realized something about me recently. If you get a chance to sit with me for a lunch, facial or just a brief encounter in the grocery store - you may end up indulging me with your life story. The name “therapeutic skin coach” is not 100% based on my experience as an esthetician. For as long as I can remember I have the type of personality that immediately comforts someone to have them share their life with me. It makes sense that when I first signed up for college I simply put “psychology” down as my option for a major since I have sort of always felt like a bit of a therapist. That being said it hasn’t always been easy to be an esthetician. Estheticians wear many, many hats that unless you walk in our shoes, you may not realize how much we have to do. First, we need to be able to analyze just about any skin condition. There are many party conversations that turn to “you should take a look at this thing on my back” or a text with attached photo that says “what do you think this might be?”. Secondly, we need to be able to run our businesses. I have to place orders, manage my business accounts, set up projections for myself and have to keep my permits, licenses and insurances all up to date. Things I never thought I’d have to worry about or rather even know anything about. Probably one of the most important parts of the job however is sales. I have to sell myself, sell you on my service, sell you on my products, sell you on everything. And you know what, I’m so not a sales person.